Sunday, September 28, 2014

Cameron Russell: Looks aren't everything. Believe me, I'm a model





I love this video... I love this video SOO much...

I love it because when I first watched it, I was at a very impressionable stage in my life. A time when every time I looked in the mirror I picked at what I saw. I picked about what I saw so much that I hated everything that I saw. When I looked at other people I picked them apart. I judged myself on   them and I rated myself. I had the world set out in two groups of people. People that were better than me and people that I saw myself on par with.

It was an incredibly twisted way of viewing the world, and I would feel guilty while I was doing it. I kept telling myself that I didn't want to be this superficial person. That I looks didn't matter. And they don't. Personality matters so much more.

Except, even though I knew that. It didn't stop me from wanting what I saw in other people. It didn't stop the crushing jealousy I felt (and still feel), when I see someone pulling off an outfit that I love and that I could NEVER pull off, and never will because of my body type and shape.

I thought that world was unfair, I felt like the victim and my own mind and way of perception was the bully.

I used to wonder if everyone felt like this... and I guess to a certain extent at some points in peoples lives they do.

When I saw this video, I felt inspired. I felt empowered. I looked in the mirror and tried to see the whole picture and not pick at imperfections.

It taught me a lot about how to view myself, and spoke about a topic that I am very passionate about.

I'm not saying that I'm always happy when I step on the scales now. Not even close. But this video, and ones like it meant that sometimes when I look in the mirror I smile.

And even though that's not a lot. It is still more than before

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